Our daughter Amelia is five. And when you're five and you have just started big school, you believe that you know everything. And when you believe you know everything, you decide that you are the AUTHORITY on everything. And so, when someone decides to, say, "disagree" with you or suggest that you do something differently than YOU believe it should be done, you turn from sweet little girl into angry dictator.
For example, when we were in North Carolina this summer, we decided to go river tubing as a family. Amelia decided that river tubing was going to be too scary for her and that she didn't want to go. So, the ENTIRE first half-hour we were in the car went something like this: "NO! I AM NOT GOING TUBING! WE ARE NOT GOING TUBING! IT'S TOO SCARY! NO ONE IN THIS CAR IS GOING TUBING! EVERYONE IS STAYING IN THIS CAR!! NO ONE IS GOING TUBING!"
Do you hear the authority in that voice? It's not just "I don't want to go" - it's not just "I am not going!" - it's "I'm not going and neither are any of you!"
Anyway, earlier this summer, Tim bought a new tablet and one day he was letting the girls play with the camera and all the cool little functions it has. One of the functions is called "Smile Shot". When you use this function, you just select it and then when it detects a smile on the person in view it automatically takes the picture. Ada just thought it was the greatest thing in the world, but Amelia was another story. She did not believe that this was actually possible and she INSISTED that Ada was actually pushing the button to take the pictures.
She started throwing a fit about it, so Tim took it away from Ada and showed her that no one was pushing the button to make this happen. But she STILL refused to believe him! "NO! YOU ARE PUSHING THAT BUTTON!! SOMEONE is PUSHING that BUTTON!! THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS! NO NO NO!!"
At this point Tim and I were trying really hard to hold back the laughter - it was SO funny because we had PROVEN to her that this was happening and she still refused to believe us because she didn't FEEL like it was possible.
We are beginning our series on Doubt tonight and I want to start off with a little survey. Raise your hand if at any point in your life you have wondered whether or not God was real. Raise your hand if you have doubted God or your faith at all in the last year.
First of all, I want to make sure that you know that it is OKAY to have doubts and it would actually be ABNORMAL if you didn't have any doubts about God! It is NOT “normal” to believe that there is this God out there and in this room that we can't see and that this guy who lived 2,000 years ago died and rose from the dead and is alive in us today. It's NOT NORMAL to just believe that without ever doubting! The question is: What will you DO with those doubts?
1) HIDE THEM
A lot of times we don't want anyone to know that we're not strong in our faith, so we just don't tell anyone. Maybe we try to ask a few questions to our parents or someone and they don't seem to have any answers, so we just bury it all, go with the flow, and hope that they will just disappear eventually.
2) ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS
We HIGHLY encourage this around here - Tim will be saying this until he's 110 years old: "GET YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED!" This is a great way to deal with doubt, but it's not the whole answer because often, as we ask and ask and dig and dig, we just end up with more questions and not enough answers and we get frustrated and we either go back to hiding them or do this third option, which is:
3) WALK AWAY
Many people give up and just walk away from God completely because there are too many questions and they just can't seem to make themselves believe.
I also believe there is a 4th category. I'll give it to you at the end, so just bear with me as I get there.
Over the years as I've counseled and mentored and talked with many, many students, I've heard this phrase (or something like it) tons and tons of times: "I just don't FEEL like I believe anymore"
If you don't hear anything else I say tonight, you need to hear this:
Doubt is a FEELING, faith is a CHOICE*
Just because you FEEL doubt, that doesn't mean you can't CHOOSE belief.
Everyone who believes in Christ (especially if you grow up in believing) at some point, goes through a faith crisis. For many of us that time is in high school or college. It’s actually very much a part of the way God does things because this faith crisis is what is going to cause you to truly choose Jesus.
Here’s my story: I grew up going to church and Sunday School and believing in God and Jesus. It was a very normal part of my life and I never really questioned it. Many of you have heard my story of accepting Christ and officially becoming a true believer when I was 16. And then at the beginning of my senior year of high school, deciding to make my career and my entire life about Jesus.
But during my senior year, I also took this class called AP Modern European History. I know it sounds horribly difficult and boring but I actually had a really great teacher who made it fun and really made us THINK HARD about what we were learning.
It's great to be made to really think about what you're learning - until it challenges your faith. A massive part of "Modern European History" has to do with the church and the incredible amount of corruption that was in the church at that time. By the end of the year, our teacher had the class, including me, convinced that Christianity was created by governments in order to control people.
Near the end of my senior year I remember lying in bed one night, crying and literally pulling my hair in frustration - there was an absolute WAR going on in my mind. I felt like I had lost my faith - I wanted so badly to believe but I just couldn't make myself feel it! I was about to literally give my LIFE to this and now I wasn't even sure if I believed in GOD at all!
There were two things that got me through my faith crisis:
The first thing was knowing I was NOT ALONE
During my freshman year of college at Eastern, I had to read this ridiculously long and complicated book called "Confessions" by this guy named St. Augustine. He lived in like the year 300 or something and this book was kind of like an autobiography of his relationship with God.
In the book he talks about his struggle to believe and his struggle to follow Jesus. There was this one scene where he was at a point of total despair and he ran out into this garden and he talked about wanting to 'pull his hair out' in frustration.
The moment I read that sentence was life-changing for me - because I realized I wasn't alone. That if THIS man, who is one of the most loved and quoted and respected God-studiers who ever existed, had doubts and struggles - maybe it was okay that I had them too! And if he was able to get through them, maybe I could as well.
If you are struggling with doubt right now in your life, you are NOT alone. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I hope that you can find some comfort in that like I did.
The second thing that helped me was realizing that I could CHOOSE to believe, even if I wasn’t sure.
I had this random CD someone gave me by this guy named Rich Mullins and one of the songs was called "Creed". The song is just the Apostle's Creed (some of you may have heard of that) and states the basic things that we believe about Jesus.
But the chorus of the song says this: "I believe that what I believe is what makes me what I am. I did not make it, no, it is making me. It is the very truth of God and not the invention of any man". I just played that song all the time and sang that line over and over and over in my head. It is the very TRUTH of God and NOT the invention of any man. Eventually I was able to say, "Just because my teacher believes that doesn't mean I have to believe it too! All of those things he was saying might have been true, but that doesn't mean I can't still choose to believe, even if I look like a fool."
I want to introduce you to a character in the Bible who didn't just doubt, his entire biblical reputation is actually centered on his doubt. People often refer to him as "Doubting Thomas". There are a few things I want to point out to you about Thomas’ story.*
1) Even though Thomas had doubts, at his core, he WANTED to believe.
The scene that Thomas is most famous for is found in John 20. Thomas was a disciple of Jesus - he was one of twelve men who physically followed Jesus around during his ministry and learned from Him. At this point, Jesus had already died and come back to life. He had appeared to a couple of the disciples, but most of them hadn’t seen Him yet.
John 20:19-20 "That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! 'Peace be with you,' he said. As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. [He showed them proof that it was really Him] They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord!"
This might have been the happiest day of their lives!! But there’s detail that was left out – someone from their group of disciples was not there.
John 20:24-25 "One of the twelve disciples, Thomas nicknamed the Twin, was not with the others when Jesus came. [Since Thomas wasn’t there, you can imagine that the rest of the disciples probably COULDN’T WAIT to find Thomas and tell him this amazing news!] They told him, 'We have seen the Lord!' But he replied, 'I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.'"
This is what Thomas is famous for - this is where he got his nickname. He wanted proof. He wanted evidence. He wasn't going to look like a fool and just believe something that he FELT was impossible. BUT we read on:
John 20:26 "Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them."
Hmmm - Eight days later? Thomas had every reason and probably every opportunity to give up and walk away. But he didn’t. He was still there with them eight days later, even though Jesus hadn’t shown up yet!
At his core, Thomas WANTED to believe. And if Jesus was really alive, Thomas wanted to be there if He showed up again. He wanted to believe, even if he was struggling.
If your heart, if something inside of you wants to believe, sometimes that is enough! Don't beat yourself up when you have doubts! Jesus compares our faith to a mustard seed, which is this tiny seed that grows into a huge tree. Even if you just have that little tiny bit deep in your heart that wants to believe - don't give up! Stick around and don’t walk away!
2) Jesus didn't CONDEMN Thomas, He reached out to him.
John 20:26 "Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. 'Peace be with you,' he said. Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!'"
Jesus could easily have scolded Thomas for his unbelief. But He didn't. He came into the room and went right to him. Even more than Thomas wanted to believe, Jesus WANTED Thomas to believe - He wanted to show Thomas the full proof that it was really Him.
Jesus wants you to believe and He wants to show Himself to you. He's not mad at you and He's not condemning you for having questions and doubts! Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're kicked off the team, He wants YOU, no matter how small your faith seems.
3) Thomas learned that he didn't need evidence, all He needed was a PERSON.
John 20:28 "'My Lord and my God!' Thomas exclaimed."
Remember how Thomas said, "Unless I put my fingers into the nail wounds and put my hands in the wound on His side" He wanted PHYSICAL evidence. Jesus was offering Thomas the physical evidence he had wanted, but it doesn't say that Thomas ever took him up on the offer. He just said, "My Lord and my God!" I think when Thomas saw Jesus, he really SAW Jesus and all of his demands for physical evidence went out the window!
The more and more you dive into getting to know Jesus as a person, all of the evidence your brain is demanding is just going to seem unnecessary. Because all the evidence you'll need is how He is going to change your life as you grow in a relationship with Him!
But sometimes in order for that to happen, you have to get to that point I talked about earlier. Option #4 in what we do with our doubts.
4) CHOOSE FAITH, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR DOUBTS
John 20:29 "Then Jesus told him, 'You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.'"
I'm not suggesting that you should stop asking questions and just blindly accept what everyone is telling you. I'm saying this: Your FEELINGS of doubt do not have to have the AUTHORITY in what you CHOOSE to believe. You will never be 100% sure about God because God Himself doesn't work that way! You will never be 100%, but that doesn't mean you can't still CHOOSE Him.
I still FEEL doubts on a regular basis. I stand up here and talk to you, but every once in a while I have moments where I think, "What if this is all for nothing? What if this is all just one big lie?" And what do I do in those moments? Do I ignore them? No. Do I research harder and find more evidence and study the Bible more just to make sure I'm getting it right? NO! I throw myself at the feet of Jesus and dive into my relationship with Him. Because the act of doing that is my CHOICE. And that choice ALWAYS ends up changing my feelings.
In the story I told earlier, Amelia chose to allow her FEELINGS about "Smile Shot" to have AUTHORITY over her CHOICE to believe. But I’m challenging you to flip it around and let your CHOICES over time become the AUTHORITY over your FEELINGS.
What are you currently doing with your doubts - which of those four options best describe you? Are you allowing your feelings to determine where you are at in your faith? I challenge you to write out a prayer or write in a journal this week. Write it down. Make it real. Where are YOU at?
*Ideas from Angie Smith's message on Thomas at Women of Faith, Philadelphia 9/7/13
Make It Real For You
1) Which of those four “What Do You Do With Your Doubts” options best describes you?
2) Are your feelings important to you in deciding what you believe? How important?
3) Journal Challenge: Where are YOU at?
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